Self-esteem vs true Self Worth. What you want your child to have and why!

Sat, Aug 28, 2010

Building Character

say-hiMany today will say that our children need self-esteem to succeed in life.  They say that they are depressed because of low self-esteem.  They say that our job as parents is to positively re-inforce the good to help build up their self-esteem.  This is the wrong philosophy for Christians.  As Christian parents what we need to do is to give our children reasons to have a good self-worth!  We need to teach them skills and provide opportunities for them to have successes.  This will provide them with a true self-worth that no one can take away from them!

How to teach true self worth to your child.

  1. Skills
  2. Manners
  3. Accomplishments

First skills.  Your child should be the example of all that is good and great in this world!  I am so tired of seeing Christian kids grow up and not have a single skill to speak of.  The only thing they know how to do is the basic reading and writing.  They can’t get jobs as their Christian schooling barely qualified them for a high school diploma, much less college.  We ought to be ashamed if that is the result of our Christian schools!

How to teach skills

When your children are young make them learn the piano and if possible one other instrument.  Now they don’t have to become experts, but they should be able to fill in for the piano player in church in an emergency.  After they can get to the point of playing about 10 hymns very well, then let them choose to continue with piano lessons or choose another instrument.  Music lessons teach your child character.  If they are going to learn, they must consistently practice their lessons.  Music lessons also sharpen the mind and have even proved to help improve math skills.

After your child has started piano lessons, get them involved in a sport.  Whether it be tennis, wrestling, football, or soccer, get them involved in something that makes them sweat!  Sorry but last time I checked bowling and golf did not make them sweat.  They need to be practicing something that helps them to bring their bodies under control.  Something where they have to push themselves physically to succeed.

Typing and computer skills.  In today’s society it is essential your child learn how to type and if possible have advanced computer skills.  I am NOT advocating free use of the computer or Wii or Playstation.  Computer time should be strictly monitored and internet filters should be used in any home with children.  You can purchase a simple typing tutorial program such as Mavis Beacon and provide a reward to your children for each 30 minutes of practice time.  For example, for each 30 minutes of typing, they earn 30 minutes of another computer game of their choice.  You won’t even half to force your children to practice typing.  They will be asking if they can practice so that they can earn their reward!


Most kids today don’t have any manners and it isn’t even their fault.  Take the time to teach your children manners so that they have the social skills they need to make friends and succeed in life!  Manners is about respect.  Having good manners shows that you respect the other people around you enough to behave appropriately.  Teach your child how to shake hands and look adults in the eye when they are being spoken to.  Teach them to say Yes ma’am and No ma’am.  Teach them how to sit at a table and to not grab everything off of the table as soon as they sit down.  Teach them to shake hands of everyone and say good-bye to everyone that is in a room before leaving.  Teach them to not be loud and obnoxious and screaming all the time.  If your kids leave a good impression on others because of their good manners, then other people will respect them even as children!  When other adults respect them and speak of their good manners to others, their self worth will increase!


Use hobbies and other interests to provide opportunites for your children to show off their accomplishments.  Encourage your children to have a hobby and to learn about that hobby.  Encourage them to have something to talk about so that they are able to converse with adults and others about their hobby.  Maybe their hobby is collecting rocks or insects.  Maybe it is sewing or a garden.  Maybe their hobby is a blog or learning how to use Photoshop.  Whatever it is, encourage your child to have many interests and to develop those interests.  Provide opportunities.  Teach your daughter to make brownies or cookies BY HERSELF.  Then when on the phone with grandma, brag about her accomplishment to grandma.  This is what true self worth is.  This is the complete opposite of what the world is teaching about self-esteem.  Give your child opportunities to be proud of their accomplishments in a good way!

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