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Gentle Mothering, or Biblical Mothering... Which will you choose? By Nicole Munoz Spanking is a subject that many people have many different opinions on. The main reason that Christians who say they believe the Bible do not believe in spanking is because they do not want to take the Bible literally. They have their preconceived ideas and thoughts on how to raise children and they try to twist the Scriptures to make them fit their ideas. We need to just stick to the Good Book and throw away all our ideas and try to find out what the Bible teaches about discipline. Here are 8 basic reasons why we should spank. 1. Spanking teaches a child to develop inner self-discipline. A baby when they are just born, does not have self-control. That is why a baby must use a diaper... they cannot control their body. We, as the parents, must teach our children to exercise self-control. Spanking shows the very young child that when they behave a certain way, there is an immediate negative consequnce. In the beginning the child learns not to do certain things to avoid the negative consequence. Later, the child is able to control their actions without the negative consequence because they have learned self-control. Simply removing a child from a situation or taking the forbidden object from the child does not teach the child that there is a negative consequence for their actions. They have no reason to change their behaviour and never do learn to control themselves on their own. 2. Spanking is punishment
for a crime, payment for a debt. In other words, once paid, they have
a clean slate. Spanking takes away the guilt, because the crime has
been paid for. Now isn't that great! One of the common problems
in children today is depression. Now I don't care much for psychologists,
but psychologists tell us that depression is really hate turned inward.
Why do you think so many children feel hate towards themselves? Guilt.
They feel guilty for their actions. They know that they have done
wrong and that they deserve a consequence for their actions. Spanking
takes away the guilt and gives them a clean slate. It is the same
way for us and our salvation. Christ paid the penalty for my sin.
Should I wander around the rest of my life burdened with guilt? No.
I am now free from the penalty of my sin, Christ having died for me,
and now I can live a life that please God. II Corinthians 5:17 says,
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old
things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 3. Spanking properly prevents abuse because the parent does not build up anger toward the child and then explode on the child. One of the reasons children are abused is because parents do not spank properly. Here is the common scenario. Johnney stop doing that. Johnney, I said to stop doing that. Johnney if you don't stop doing that I am going to spank you. Johnney I TOLD YOU TO STOP. Johnney, ONE MORE TIME and I am going to spank you. AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! The proper way to discipline is like this. "Johnney stop doing that." Johnney continues the behaviour. Mom goes over to Johnney, looks him in the eye, tells him that he disobeyed and must receive a spanking. Mom spanks Johnney in the proper place with the proper tool. Mom continues her work and Johnney continues to play. Obviously the second scenario takes a lot more work and consistency. Many times a child will continue the behaviour even after being spanked. BUT, there will come a time when mom just saying it the first time will work. Why? Because the child will have learned self-control and obedience. 4. Spanking is the most effective tool for child discipline. I will agree that you don't have to spank to teach a child to obey. If a parent is 100% consistent with giving the child a negative consequence for each undesired behaviour (and here I mean a negative consequence, not just removing them from the situation), then a child can learn to obey without spanking. Spanking is the most effective tool because it will work in a shorter time period than any other method. 5. Spanking insures a good parent-child relationship. You ever wonder why most teenagers hate their parents? I remember in high school how most of my friends hated their parents. When we would be hanging out we would ask each other what time each one had to be home. Most of my friends said, "Oh, my parents don't care what time I get home." They did not have any rules or discipline in the home. I also had some other friends. They did not hate their parents. They were happy, well-adjusted teenagers. They were not allowed to go and just hang out. They had a certain time they had to be home. And, yes, they were spanked if they did not obey. 6. Spanking works. Of all the families that I know that have raised EXCELLENT kids, they spanked. Now, if you don't mind if your child dresses like the world, talks like the world, and wants to live like the world, then that is fine. Don't spank your kids. I have not met a family that raised excellent kids that are serving God today that did not spank. Now, you say that your kids are excellent. Well, they are still 8 years old. Let us see how they are when they are 28 years old. 7. Spanking is Biblical, Christian behaviour. If we just take the Word of God literally and not try to change it to fit our ideas, it is easy to see that spanking is Biblical. John R. Rice in his book The Home, talking about training children said, "I told him that no man had a right to maintain membership in a church of Jesus Christ and deny one verse in the Bible." (page 210). 8. Spanking teaches a lesson and decreases child violence. I will let a former police officer say it all here. Christian Police Officer
Speaks Out on Corporal Punishment
Even when the parent is diligent in other areas of discipline, such as taking away privileges and grounding, when that one element of discipline, spanking, is taken away, the parent usually experiences defiance problems throughout the teen years. Since 1982 in my city, the incidents of Domestic Violence cases where children physically assault their parents has increased 700%. The national statistics show an overall increase of almost 400%. I am responsible for compiling all information on those offenses. I conduct interviews with the parents and child, along with school officials and employers of the child. What I find startling, is that of all those kids arrested in my city for hitting their parents, only 1.9% received any type of corporal punishment as they were being raised. Less than 2% of these aggressive, angry children were spanked! The non-spanking "experts" contend that spanking a child makes them angry and aggressive. The exact opposite is true! The non-spanking crowd are a close-knit group who are attempting to convince the public to stop spanking their children. Their attitude is one of arrogance. Their movement is humanistic. Their religion is atheistic. There are prophesies that refer to children and the mindset of the younger generation in the last days. 2nd Timothy 3:1 states "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents......" Along with all of the other changes in attitude, is the predicted change in the attitude of children toward their parents. I believe that the anti-spanking movement has, and will continue to have, a hand in the fulfillment of Biblical prophesy. Unbeknownst to the non-spanking advocate, they are helping to cause children to be "disobedient to parents," something that was predicted in 2nd Timothy in the year 66 AD. I believe that the elimination of corporal punishment is the major factor in the attitude of "no fear" that we are now experiencing in our youth. Think about it. When you got grounded as a child, it was a real inconvenience, but you weren’t afraid of it. When you had the TV taken away it was real boring, but you weren’t afraid of it. What made you move fast was hearing the leather coming out of dad’s belt loops! That’s what really made you respect your dad’s authority! I believe as Christians, we have a responsibility to educate parents as to their responsibility and authority. I have recently written a book called "No Fear," and hope to have it published in the near future. We are being inundated by numerous sources telling us we can’t spank our kids. Psychologists, the Department of Children’s Services and Public School Counselors are telling us we cannot discipline our children. Enough is enough! The law protects a parent who wishes to spank their child, most parents just don’t know it! A parent must know the LIMIT of his or her power to avoid exceeding it, and the EXTENT of the power to exercise it fully. Once a parent knows to what extent they can go to control their child, they can move forward without fear of arrest or interference from the authorities. And once the child realizes that the parent is in total control, the will is broken, and compliance results. The dedicated Christian, like those in Acts 17:11 "received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so," will see that God’s Word plainly advocates spanking in child rearing. In order for the Christian to effectively use the Bible as a reference to advocate corporal punishment, he must know exactly what the Bible says about spanking. That is why I believe your message is so important. I encourage you to keep up the good work. Your message on the Internet was of great encouragement to me. May God bless you in your efforts. In His Name, Det. Robert R. Surgenor Note: Detective Surgenor retired from his police department in 2002. For more articles like this one go to: http://www.straightistheway.com/ Let us look at Scripture. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him..” Advocates of Gentle Mothering would have you believe that the rod here is a metaphor. Any Bible professor will teach you that the correct way to interpret Scripture is by comparing Scripture with Scripture. Proverbs 23:13 says, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” Now how will I beat a child with a metaphor may I ask! The problem here is that people do not want to take the Word of God literally. Proverbs 10:13 says, “In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.” Now, how can I apply a metaphor to the back of a child? Proverbs 3:11 says, “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.” Gentle Mothering would teach you that God has never "hit" them so therefore chastening cannot mean "spanking". First, let me say, there is a BIG difference between "hitting" and "spanking". I do not "hit" my children, I "spank" them. There is a proper place for spanking. It is not the head, or face of the child. The Bible says the rod is for the back. I would think most of us would know where the proper place is for spanking. I love my children so that is why I spank them. Proverbs 20:30 says, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.” Stripes. How does a child get stripes? I cannot give a child stripes with a metaphor, but I sure can with a rod. Now it us up to you. What do you choose? Gentle Mothering, or Biblical Mothering?
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