Are you making your child scared?

Fri, Jun 21, 2013

Child Training

Child with teddy

One of my goals as a mom is to raise kids that have a passion for life and are not afraid to try new things!

One of the ways I have tried to train my kids to not be scared is by simply avoiding using the word “scared”.  My philosophy is that if a child does not know they are supposed to be “scared”, then maybe they won’t be!

It happens almost without thinking about it.  We put nightlights in our children’s room so they are not “scared” of the dark.  We tell our kids they can’t watch a movie or show because “that is going to scare you”. We ask them, “oh did that scare you?”

What happens is even if the child was not initially scared, by telling them over and over that there are times when you should be scared, they begin to get scared over different things.

So the first step to raise fearless children is to avoid using the word “scared”.

If a child is scared, try to validate their feelings without encouraging fear.

If a child comes to you in the middle of the night because of a bad dream that “scared” them, then hug them and say something like “it is not fun to have a bad dream”. Talk about the bad dream… not how it made them feel.

Remember it is all about balance! We don’t want to go to one extreme and belittle a child or criticize them for being scared, but we also don’t want to encourage fear. The goal is to raise happy well-adjusted children that have a passion for life and are not afraid of trying new things!

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